We have been pottering in the garden all weekend, making some serious in-roads into it. It has been wonderful to be able to be outside surrounded by our glorious Devon countryside. I sat back at one point yesterday and closed my eyes and drank it all in. We are so very lucky.
Dad was massively green fingered and spent so much time in the garden, tending to his beloved plants (they really were such a joy to see) and always brought us some pots made up when he came to see us. I think he was as disappointed as we were in the state of our garden (when we first bought the house the garden was beautiful, now it is tumble down and neglected) so he would always try to brighten it up with his plants.
Sitting there yesterday I felt his presence all around me - in the deck that he fixed, in the pots that he brought, in the tools that he lent us. It was very comforting, and it made me realise that even though he isn't here any more, I still want to make him proud. I think that is what is spurring me on to transform our garden from the tip that it currently is to somewhere that he would be able to sit in and relax - I can still hear his catchphrase said again and again (I spoke of it in my funeral reading) 'this is the life' and I know we will get there.
We planted some fruit trees in his memory; apple, pear, cherry and peach. The children helped us bed and water them in and while we were doing it I tried to transfer some of my love and grief into those trees to help them grow well. I very much look forward to the day when they will start to fruit and we will be able to think of Dad and know that he would be so very happy that he has taught us well.
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