Doctors

I went to see the doctor today.

About something completely unrelated but I thought I had better mention what had happened, for no other reason that after speaking to my brother I need to get checked out. Both Dad and his Dad died of heart attacks, and a contributing factor to that is high cholesterol.

Anyway, after speaking about my other issue I told her about Dad. Now, pretty much everyone I know, knows what happened, so when I am speaking about it I usually use words such as 'before all this happened' and 'when Dad, you know..' because I can't really face saying it - it would make it more real. Therefore I am not actually sure when I last said the words out loud. I have obviously written it on many occasions, but as I haven't been in the position to tell a stranger, I don't think I have said it since it first happened.

So. There I was 'yes, there is something else actually. ummm... well... My Dad Died in November...' It was very strange hearing the words come out of my mouth, and it took a good few minutes to pull myself together. It just made me think how little you speak about it, even though you are thinking about it pretty much ALL the time! It also made me think that if I had had the time with her I would have started talking and not been able to stop!

So then we started talking about cholesterol, and health, and exercise - pretty much everything you already know, have heard about and read about, and I reckon my lifestyle is a reasonably healthy one. But it takes on a completely other dimension now - you are actually considering your own mortality. Not in any negative way, but just another way, in a way you hadn't really thought about before, or even considered that you would have to. But it does makes you realise that you really do need to get the most out of your life and to live it well.

I made the appointment for a blood test. It was only when driving home I realised it was made for Monday 27th. Three months to the day when Dad, well, you know...